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trying to keep smiling: quick trick, giving go’s

home / family life / parenting / trying to keep smiling: quick trick, giving go’s
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Stop pulling on the door handle!
Don’t jump on the bed!
Get your fingers out of your mouth!
Don’t you dare kick your brother!
Do NOT run on the kitchen floor with those muddy shoes!!

More often than not, I give my children a STOP message without giving them a GO message. STOP messages are easier, they come more quickly, and they take less effort and thought for most of us.

However, after I learned about the GO message, (and when I remember to use it!) I have found that it actually works. It goes back to Dr. Becky Bailey’s idea of Positive Intent, that what you focus on you get more of.

  • When Owen’s hanging on the door handle (and, dang, he loves to do this!), I’ll say, Owen, you may not hang on the door handle. It will break, and you’ll get hurt. Instead, put your hands flat on the door. OR, Point to each of the rectangles on the door as you count them.

  • If the kids try jumping on the couch–or bed, or whatever–we’ll say, You may not jump on the (whatever). It’s not safe. You may jump on the floor/ do sitting jumps on the bed/ etc.

  • When Cora hits Maddy or Owen, we try to say, No hitting. Hitting hurts. You may hit the drum instead. OR, If you want Owen’s attention, then you look at him and say, ‘Please play with me, Owen’.

I know these responses sound totally strange and hokey at first, but if you find that you, like me, are often playing the role of Maniac Mommy, then just give this a shot.

According to Dr. Becky Bailey, it’s all about giving children a frame of what we DO want them to do or say rather than what we DON’T want them to do or say (think Amy Sutherland’s essay a few years back about dolphin-training our husbands).

On top of that, though, Bailey advocates looking at life with a Positive Intent. The idea behind Positive Intent is that when you attribute positive motives to your child’s behavior, you position yourself to teach and your child to learn. It all jives with her idea of giving children real and valid choices, since even little guys need some say in what goes on in their lives.

Again, like most Parenting Quick Tricks, it’s much easier said than done and takes mucho practice, but we all need a little something in our back pockets for those tough days, right?

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About amy mascott

teacher, mother, dreamer. lover of literacy, fun learning, good food, and three crazy-cool kids. finder of four-leaf clovers | dc metro ยท http://about.me/amymascott
tweet with me: @teachmama

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UMD Womenโ€™s Basketball ROCKS!! โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ–ค๐Ÿ€

We absolutely love watching you play, @terpswbb !

We love watching you perform, @marylandcheer !

And @mightysoundofmd we love your music and your hilarious signs! ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜ณ

See you in Greenville! 

#terpsbasketball #terpswbb #umd #familyfun #marylandcheer #umdfamily
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This is how we use the St. Patrickโ€™s Day Brain Teaser Scavenger Hunt! ๐Ÿ€

Super easyโ€”and makes kids work a little for their golden chocolates! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Grab them here: https://shop.teachmama.com/product/st-patricks-day-scavenger-hunt-4-pack/

<< Tag a pal who needs to know about this and would LOVE to use it with kids or students! >>

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and then there were six
๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿฆ๐ŸฆŠ๐Ÿฆ„๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿฐ

thank you @thewoobles for giving my mind, heart, and hands something fun to do during a really challenging few months. 

#crochet #thewoobles #brainbreak #teachersanitysaver #shescrafty
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With great sadness, I'm writing to share that my brother-in-law, Jeff Mascott passed away from pancreatic cancer earlier this week--at home, surrounded by family and friends. 

The family is very grateful for the community's immeasurable help, encouragement, and prayers over the past several months since Jeff's diagnosis. 

Jeff's obituary will run this weekend in the Post: 
https://www.collinsfuneralhome.com/obituaries/Jeff-Mascott?obId=27420280&fbclid=IwAR2YTRooCyaLTikfjLeqF4gM-GaB1amZI2OmVl1VtKLUOjWj3Wo4URD8lC8#/obituaryInfo
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Flowers and a basket of @traderjoes faves are salve for a tired and weepy soul. ๐ŸŒท

Thankful for great, longtime friends ๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’›

#itshardtobeahuman #thankfulheart #wlhs4evah #teacherbffs
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Almost 30 years of friendship!! I love these smart, beautiful, strong and creative women who walked with me through my early days of teaching. 

๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š

Thank you, Wilde Lake High School, for bringing us together way back when. 

๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’›

Missed you, jigofjoy ๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š

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Makes my heart ๐Ÿฅฐ!! 

Some kids come by every day and give one to a new person. Others take a bunch for the week. One 2nd grade girl comes by evey morning to tell me who she gave hers to the day before. 

Every little bit helps, friend. And every interaction matters!

#kindnessrocks #adoormadeforme #teachersofinstagram #makeadifference
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Best crew for one of the best @terpswbb games weโ€™ve seen all season! 

And of course super job by @marylandcheer and @mightysoundofmd too! 

#terpswbb #terpsbasketball #familyfun #marylandcheer

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