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how to get kids to talk about school: what every parent must know

home / family life / school / how to get kids to talk about school: what every parent must know
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School’s in full swing here, and if your house is anything like mine, getting kids to talk about their day is sometimes difficult.

I want to know everything:

  • Who did they sit with at lunch?
  • Who did theyย play with at recess?
  • How do they like their tablemates?
  • What book did they start in Guided Reading?
  • Who hosted the morning tv show?how to get kids to talk about school: what every parent must know

But it’s hard. The kids are tired at 3pm, they’re even more tired at 7pm, and the last thing they want to do is talk to boring old Mom about school. So I have to get creative–and I know I’m not the only one. Hopefully these tricks for getting kids to talk about school will help you get a little more info from your little loves about what goes on in their lives, 6 hours a day, 5 days a week. Here’s the skinny. . .

How to Get Kids to Talk About School:

The most important thing here is that we really have to read our own kids, not be too pushy, and try to let the conversations evolve naturally. ย And we need to listen. Seriously. I know–not always easy. So I’ve found that with my three kids, I’ve tried three different approaches: 1. direct questions; 2. group questions; 3. distracted questions.

how to get kids to talk about school direct questions teachmama.com

1. ย direct questions: Most often, numero uno–direct questions–are a complete and utter fail for me. Save for those rare occasions when theย stars are aligned, the odds are rarely ever in my favor for this technique. I ask questions, and I get quick, abbreviated responses that hardly make sense. ย Even with open-ended questions the kids don’t want to chat this way with me.

me: How was recess? (This mustย be a subject they’ll want to talkย about! )

kid: Fine.

me: Whadja play?

kid: Lotsa stuff.

me: What was your favorite game?

kid: Everything.

me: Who’d ya play with most?

kid: Everyone.

me: Awesome.

Never fear. Numero dos and tres have yielded better results for me.

how to get kids to talk about school group questions teachmama.com 2. group questions: Group questions often work for us. They often work especially around the dinner table and when we’ve got an audience, even if that audience is Dad. Because really? Dad’s mucho awesome. He’s not hangin’ around the house as much as me, so he’s almost extra-special something. And if we mix things up a bit, they almost always work.

  • Speed answer: Go around the dinner table and everyone gives a quick, one or two word answer to the same question.
  • Ball toss: Everyone answers the same question, though not at the same time. ย The speaker holds a ball. He or she tosses the ball to the next person, and that person answers. This one is great for after school, after snack, out in the back yard.
  • Hula hello: Give kids a hula hoop and they answer as many questions as they can while hula-hooping.
  • Question train: You start with one question and choose a person to answer. That person answers and asks another question to the next person. And so on and so on.

how to get kids to talk about school distracted questions teachmama.com

3. ย distracted questions: One of my dear friends suggested that chatting with tweens and teens is best conductedย this way–while you’re both doing something.

  • Snack chat: ย While everyone’s eating a snack and before homework starts, chat school.
  • Kitchen helpers: Having one kid help prepare dinner has been hugely helpful in opening the door to conversation about school. While kids are cutting veggies, mixing mac and cheese, or emptying the dishwasher, they often want to talk to pass the time.
  • Travelย convo: When kids are held captive in the car and as you’re schlepping everyone from soccer and piano lessons and then back again, ask questions. Though often for me, my kids really want to zone out in the car, sometimes, they’re pretty chatty. Again, depends on the day.
  • Chore chats: ย Many times I remember chatting with my mom while she (or I) was ironing or folding wash. Not sure why, but maybe there’s something there for moms and daughters.
  • Game gabble: Owen is a gamer, and he always has been. So often he’s opened up most to me or my husband during games of War, Battleship, Monopoly, or Rummy. Again, it’s the busy hands and relaxed atmosphere that may help.

how to talk to kids about school | teachmama.com

print it out:ย how to talk to kids about school | teachmama.com

Now. ย What should you ask? Though I’m no expert, from what I’ve heard and read, you should do a whole lot more listening than talking. We want our kids to know that we’re listening to what they say and that our ears are open. So put the cell phones down. Close the laptop. Let that iPad rest. And when you do say something, paraphrasing is key. It’s like putting money in the bank. When you paraphrase, you’re simply putting what your child just said into your own words. When you paraphrase, it lets your kiddos know that you’re listening. And sometimes when you ask questions that count–that get them thinking or get them interested, they’re more likely to answer. Consider asking:ย 

  • What book are you reading?
  • What was the best part of your lunch?
  • Who was absent from class today?
  • Who was on the morning announcements?
  • What did you play in PE?
  • Will you let me guess your favorite part of the morning/ afternoon/ day?
  • If your day was a movie, what would the title be?
  • What color was your day?
  • Which Olympic medal would you give today?
  • What do you hope is different tomorrow?

And really? Cross your fingers. But first, print out this pretty little cheat cheet:ย how to talk to kids about school ย . . . and have an awesome year!

Do you have any secrets that work for you? I’d love to hear them! Leave them in the comments! Check out the other two posts that will help make this year awesome: happy first day flowers for teachers, secretaries, or principal ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  easy ways to support teachers: back to school #quakerup | teachmama.com

Need or want a few more ideas that may be helpful as you move into the new school year?

Click on the image below:

how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-instagram-teachmama.com_

 

cool-instagram-accounts-for-tweens-and-new-users-to-follow-teachmama.com_

Want a little more back-to-school fun? A few more rockstar resources?

      • Back to Schoolย Tips and Tricks: Make this year ROCK
      • Get kids involved in back to school shopping
      • school success
      • everything I wish knew before middle school
      • lunchbox notes: school RULES! lunchbox joke notes
      • help kids start a blog
      • analog twitter wall
      • game design for kids
      • get kids started with texting
      • texting as a learning tool

Follow amy mascott @teachmama’s board lunchbox love notes on Pinterest.

Follow amy mascott @teachmama’s board school & teacher appreciation on Pinterest.
amy @teachmama

 

fyi: Some of the links in the post above are โ€œaffiliate links.โ€ This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. This small percentage of money helps offset the costs of hosting this blog, which helps me keep this content free for you. Forever and always I recommend only products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commissionโ€™s 16 CFR, Part 255: โ€œGuides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.โ€ ย For more information, please see teachmama media, llc. disclosure policy.ย 

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About amy mascott

teacher, mother, dreamer. lover of literacy, fun learning, good food, and three crazy-cool kids. finder of four-leaf clovers | dc metro ยท http://about.me/amymascott
tweet with me: @teachmama

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This one right here was ours from last year, and we โค๏ธ LOVED it!

It is made by @sugarfina and each day we were surprised with FABULOUS sweet treats! 

Good-bye to the ole, crappy, tinfoil chocolates. Weโ€™re taking fun, new, and different candies each day of the month!

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Especially nowโ€”as we move into the exciting holiday seasonโ€”I will more frequently share items, and they will MOVE QUICKLY! 

So make sure you are checking in regularly, and pleaseโ€”if you are looking for specific items and a specific price point, let me know! 

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THE best toy for kidsโ€”and classrooms!โ€”is on sale right now. 

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is only $34.99 on Zulily WITH an extra 15% off!

Stock upโ€”think: teachers, daycare providers, classrooms!
AND birthdays, holidays or rainy days!

This is a toy that I cannot recommend highly enoughโ€”perfect for littles through elemor middle school. 

From a tween I know and love: The *click* of the magnetic blocks is so satisfying, and honestly, theyโ€™re just really fun and relaxing to use. 

๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸช๐ŸŸง๐ŸŸฉ

hereโ€™s the link that will get you AN ADDITIONAL 15% off โ€”> zulily.gfpv.net/JrDdbE

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THE perfect gift for the tweens and teens in your life: zulily.gfpv.net/gb2NAA

@zulily #ad #giftsfortweens #giftsforteens
View
Open
Celebrate, we will! โ€˜Cause life is short but sweet for certain. . . 

What a weekend. So incredibly proud of all of these talented athletes!

๐Ÿ† 3rd in the state of Maryland for @sherwoodcheerleading ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿค

UMD Womenโ€™s Basketball won todayโ€” great job by @marylandcheer โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ–ค

#lovethesegirls #cheerweekend #marylandlife #lifeinmaryland #moco
View
Open
This Sugarfina Advent Calendar is what your teens want. 

$33 shipped TO YOUR DOOR w my 10% off and FREE SHIPPING!

Normally itโ€™s $60! 

I have been sharing my fave, super-COOL, Advent Calendars for teens and adults in my stories today!

This one right here was ours from last year, and we โค๏ธ LOVED it!

It is made by @sugarfina and each day we were surprised with FABULOUS sweet treats! 

Good-bye to the ole, crappy, tinfoil chocolates. Weโ€™re taking fun, new, and different candies each day of the month!

Grab it here: zulily.gfpv.net/MX9Ngn

#linkinbio @zulily #adventcalendars #adventforteens
View
Open
Hey #MoCo Voters, Itโ€™s #ElectionDay2022! 

Do you need a ride to the polls? If you do, @VOTE411 and @lyft has got you covered! 

So, #NoExcuses. Get out there and make your voice heard!

#VotePlan #VoteReady #expectus #MomsDemandAction #appleballot #MCEA
View
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Get out and VOTE. 

Please. 

Not sure where to vote? https://www.vote.org/polling-place-locator/

#midtermelections #getoutandvote๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ #linkinbio
View
Open
Did you have a chance to join my IG live today?

It was a rainy, gross Sunday here in Maryland, and I shared one of my top picks for the holidaysโ€”> LEGO but for BIG KIDS. 

Or GRANDPARENTS. 

Or PARENTS. 

Actually ANY grown-up who likes to unplug once in a while and CREATE. 

I showed how I was doing with the LEGO Flower Bouquet (๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒบ๐Ÿ’๐ŸŒผ) and how many other awesome sets are 15% off and FREE SHIPPING (yayyyyy!!) over on @zulily ๐Ÿ’œ. 

Check it out. Theyโ€™ve got a ton of sets to choose from, like 
Marvel, Star Wars, Harry Potter, Friends, Disney, Mario Brosโ€”you name it. 

Find them here: https://zulily.gfpv.net/jWqkmn

Fab prices + free shipping = BIG WIN. 

#linkinbio #ad #LEGOforgrownups #everyonelovesLEGO #holidaypicks
View
Open
LEGO at 15% off and FREE SHIPPING! 

Check out the AWESOME set that is PERFECT for teens, grandparents, and ANY grownup who likes to create! 

This bouquet will last forever!

๐ŸŒผ๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒบ๐Ÿ’

Use this link โ€”> zulily.gfpv.net/jWqkmn

#bestgiftsforkids #grandparentgifts #ad #LEGOforgrownups @zulily
View
Open
WHAT HAS ARRIVED FROM @zulily !?

Since Zulily carries such a vast array of items, it could be ANYthing: 

๐Ÿ’œ boutique-style clothes or shoes

๐Ÿค brand-name clothing & shoes

๐Ÿ’œ toys

๐Ÿค books or magazines 

๐Ÿ’œ pantry items, snacks, & treats

๐Ÿค haircare or cosmetics 

๐Ÿ’œ pet toys, treats, or accessories 

๐Ÿค personalized gifts

๐Ÿ’œ houseplants, seeds, or bulbs

๐Ÿค basics for kids through adults

๐Ÿ’œ craft supplies and kits

๐Ÿค furniture or home goods

๐Ÿ’œ designer handbags, sunglasses, or belts

๐Ÿค luxury items and gifts

๐Ÿ’œ sports equipment 

๐Ÿค sports gear for ALL fansโ€”NFL, MLB, NCAA, you name it

๐Ÿ’œ small appliances & kitchen items

๐Ÿค towels, sheets, blankets, linens

๐Ÿ’œ home storage & organization items

๐Ÿค coats, hats, scarves 

๐Ÿ’œ just about anything you can imagine!

Follow my stories for the deals and steals for families and educators, or check the Zulily Highlight!

Especially nowโ€”as we move into the exciting holiday seasonโ€”I will more frequently share items, and they will MOVE QUICKLY! 

So make sure you are checking in regularly, and pleaseโ€”if you are looking for specific items and a specific price point, let me know! 

I am happy to do some research to help you out!

๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿค๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿค๐Ÿ’œ

#zulilypartner #linkinbio #ad #holiday #giftgiving bestgifts

Want to check it out for yourself? zulily.gfpv.net/teachmama
View
Open
๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸจ

THE best toy for kidsโ€”and classrooms!โ€”is on sale right now. 

The 101-piece PicassoTile Building Set (WITH CARRYING CASE!)
is only $34.99 on Zulily WITH an extra 15% off!

Stock upโ€”think: teachers, daycare providers, classrooms!
AND birthdays, holidays or rainy days!

This is a toy that I cannot recommend highly enoughโ€”perfect for littles through elemor middle school. 

From a tween I know and love: The *click* of the magnetic blocks is so satisfying, and honestly, theyโ€™re just really fun and relaxing to use. 

๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸช๐ŸŸง๐ŸŸฉ

hereโ€™s the link that will get you AN ADDITIONAL 15% off โ€”> zulily.gfpv.net/JrDdbE

And remember: FREE SHIPPING ON orders of $89+

#ad #linkinbio #besttoysforkids #dealoftheday

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