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helps families connect & build bridges between home & school, by amy mascott

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    • alphabet
    • beginning sounds
    • phonics
    • phonological awareness
    • read-aloud learning
    • rhyming
    • sight words
  • reading
    • books
    • comprehension
      • activating schema
      • connecting
      • inferring
      • predicting
      • questioning
      • retelling / summarizing
      • visualizing
    • concepts of print
    • environmental print
    • fluency
    • non-fiction
    • spelling
    • word building
    • word consciousness
    • vocabulary
  • writing
    • creative writing
    • grammar
    • informative writing
    • tripod grip
  • math
    • computation
    • counting
    • numbers
  • science
    • animals
    • plants
    • science experiments for kids
  • Activities
    • birthdays
    • cooking
      • new for us foods
    • crafts
    • foundations
      • colors
      • critical thinking
      • fine arts
      • listening
      • pretend play
      • sorting
      • speaking
    • holidays
      • new year’s
      • valentine’s day
      • president’s day
      • st. patrick’s day
      • april fool’s day
      • easter
      • mother’s day
      • teacher appreciation
      • father’s day
      • july 4th
      • halloween
      • thanksgiving
      • christmas
    • family life
      • family fun
      • giving back
      • lunchbox love notes
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trying to keep smiling: quick trick, positive

home / family life / parenting / trying to keep smiling: quick trick, positive
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Lately, my sweet 3-year-old boy has been experimenting with his voice (yelling and screaming anywhere, anytime, at anyone), his body (superhero kicking and punching the air, a pillow, or the unlucky guy closest to him), and his attitude (frustrates easily, pushing limits with adults, and challenging his sisters).power of positive intent teachmama.com

Whether it’s the imbalance between mind and body that little ones experience every six months or so, or if it’s some friendship challenges at preschool (which ends tomorrow!), we’ve been trying our best to be patient, loving, and firm with him.

It’s wearing us–okay, me–out.

But this Quick Trick is another one from Dr. Bailey’s Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline that I think is totally worth revisiting and one that I’ve leaned on for the last few days especially, when I’ve used choices and counting and given him a million GO’s, and I need to clear my brain:

Power of Positive Intent:

In short, this is when you attribute positive motives to your child’s behavior so that you’re positioning yourself to teach and your child to learn.

Sound funny? I agree, but it helps in more ways than one–for me, at least.

Since ‘intent’ is a real and powerful communicator, you can speak the same words to children with the intent of punishing them or with the goal of teaching them. Your intent is more powerful than the words you use. So, you start out assuming your child’s motives are positive, that he is simply trying to achieve some goal but lacks the appropriate skills to do so.

Here’s how: Model unconditional love. (Sometimes this is not easy–parenting is hard work!)

  1. State the child’s positive motive. (You wanted a turn to color. . . )
  2. State the skill he used to achieve his goal. (. . . so you grabbed the crayon.)
  3. State the limit and why it is needed. (You may not grab. Grabbing hurts.)
  4. Teach the child what you want him to do or say instead. Then ask him to do or say those actions. (When you want a turn to color, say, ‘I want a turn to color, too. Which color can I use?’ Say it now.)
  5. Praise and encourage your child for being willing to try a different approach. If possible, point out how the new approach proved successful. (You did it! Now he gave you the yellow crayon so you can color, too.)

Easier said than done sometimes, I know, but it’s just one more little trick that has helped me stay focused as a parent during tough times. And like a lot of these tricks, it takes practice, practice, practice with a huge side of patience.

Check out a few other posts that may help you develop strong and healthy habits for your family:

  • wait time
  • my day, your day
  • frozen peas
  • kids who rock the kitchen
  • kids who rock the laundry
  • rest time
  • gem jars
  • arm circles
  • noticing kids
  • homework routine

 

fyi: Some of the links in the post above are โ€œaffiliate links.โ€ This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Forever and always I recommend only products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commissionโ€™s 16 CFR, Part 255: โ€œGuides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.โ€ ย For more information, please see teachmama media, llc. disclosure policy.ย 

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About amy mascott

teacher, mother, dreamer. lover of literacy, fun learning, good food, and three crazy-cool kids. finder of four-leaf clovers | dc metro ยท http://about.me/amymascott
tweet with me: @teachmama

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UMD Womenโ€™s Basketball ROCKS!! โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ–ค๐Ÿ€

We absolutely love watching you play, @terpswbb !

We love watching you perform, @marylandcheer !

And @mightysoundofmd we love your music and your hilarious signs! ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜ณ

See you in Greenville! 

#terpsbasketball #terpswbb #umd #familyfun #marylandcheer #umdfamily
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Are you ready? 

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#saintpatricksfun #stpaddysforkids #familyfun #classroomactivities #teachmamashop
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This is how we use the St. Patrickโ€™s Day Brain Teaser Scavenger Hunt! ๐Ÿ€

Super easyโ€”and makes kids work a little for their golden chocolates! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Grab them here: https://shop.teachmama.com/product/st-patricks-day-scavenger-hunt-4-pack/

<< Tag a pal who needs to know about this and would LOVE to use it with kids or students! >>

#stpatricksdayfun #saintpaddysday #stpaddysforkids #stpatsfun #linkinbio
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and then there were six
๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿฆ๐ŸฆŠ๐Ÿฆ„๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿฐ

thank you @thewoobles for giving my mind, heart, and hands something fun to do during a really challenging few months. 

#crochet #thewoobles #brainbreak #teachersanitysaver #shescrafty
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With great sadness, I'm writing to share that my brother-in-law, Jeff Mascott passed away from pancreatic cancer earlier this week--at home, surrounded by family and friends. 

The family is very grateful for the community's immeasurable help, encouragement, and prayers over the past several months since Jeff's diagnosis. 

Jeff's obituary will run this weekend in the Post: 
https://www.collinsfuneralhome.com/obituaries/Jeff-Mascott?obId=27420280&fbclid=IwAR2YTRooCyaLTikfjLeqF4gM-GaB1amZI2OmVl1VtKLUOjWj3Wo4URD8lC8#/obituaryInfo
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Flowers and a basket of @traderjoes faves are salve for a tired and weepy soul. ๐ŸŒท

Thankful for great, longtime friends ๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’›

#itshardtobeahuman #thankfulheart #wlhs4evah #teacherbffs
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Almost 30 years of friendship!! I love these smart, beautiful, strong and creative women who walked with me through my early days of teaching. 

๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š

Thank you, Wilde Lake High School, for bringing us together way back when. 

๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’›

Missed you, jigofjoy ๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š

#weareteachers #andoneprincipal #wildelake #wlhs4evah #teacherbffs #wildelakehs #teachersofinstagram #celebratewewill
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Today marks the 4th time in 3 weeks that I have had to hang new Kindness Reminders Tear-off Sheets! 

Makes my heart ๐Ÿฅฐ!! 

Some kids come by every day and give one to a new person. Others take a bunch for the week. One 2nd grade girl comes by evey morning to tell me who she gave hers to the day before. 

Every little bit helps, friend. And every interaction matters!

#kindnessrocks #adoormadeforme #teachersofinstagram #makeadifference
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Best crew for one of the best @terpswbb games weโ€™ve seen all season! 

And of course super job by @marylandcheer and @mightysoundofmd too! 

#terpswbb #terpsbasketball #familyfun #marylandcheer

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