how to talk to your kids about instagram

It’s hard.

For many of us with tweens, times are a tough.

Or if they’re not tough now, they’re going to be.

It’s the group mentality: they want to do what their friends are doing.

And it was easy when it was as simple as getting them Rainbow Loom bands for their bracelet-making or letting them poke around the cell phone and text family members.

But now, our kids want to jump on the Instagram bandwagon. They want to do what so many of their friends are doing, and if you’re anything like me, you’re confused.

Is Instagram really a big deal?
Should we just cave and let them on Instagram?
What does Instagram even do?
What should I know about kids and Instagram?
How should I support my child if he/she is already using Instagram?

And though I don’t have all of the answers, I have talked to friends and experts and done a considerable amount of research for the last few months.

After all, I’m hanging out on social media platforms a whole lot of the time.

And so finally, I think I have some ideas about how you can talk to your kids about Instagram.

Here’s the skinny. . .

How to Talk to Your Kids About Instagram:

First of all, here’s what you should know about Instagram, whether you’re on it or not:

Straight from the Instagram site:

Instagram is a fun and quirky way to share your life with friends through a series of pictures. Snap a photo with your mobile phone, then choose a filter to transform the image into a memory to keep around forever.

What does it mean for not-so-techy parents:

Instagram is a way that people can share photos or short videos with anyone, at any time. They can make the photo fancy with a filter and a frame and share from their phone, iPad, or tablet; people can like the photo and comment on it, and unless they delete the photo themselves, it will live forever on the internet.

Here’s a quick how-to, an Instagram 101 in like five seconds:

1. download the app from the Google Play Store or iTunes (it’s free)

2. create an account

3. take a photo or video (either use the camera on your phone and then share it via Instagram or open the camera right on the Instagram app)

4. choose a filter (or not)

5. write a little something describing the photo or maybe tag someone in the photo

6. use a hashtag if you want other people to find your photo

7. share the photo!

Now, here are my answers to the questions I asked above:

Is it a big deal?

Yes. It’s a big deal because for many kids, this is the first time they’re ever putting content out into the world for the whole world to see.

Should we just cave and let them on Instagram?

Instagram Terms of Service says, like most social networks: You must be at least 13 years old to use the Service.

Though I admit that this summer I really came close to caving and letting my 10-year-old have an account, I have a husband who put his foot down with a firm NO! and some of my uber tech-savvy friends sang the same song.

But you read through this post and decide for yourself. Most certainly every child and every family is different.

What does Instagram even do?

Instagram lets users share photos and short videos with the world. If a profile is public, anyone can see any of the photos or videos. And often kids take a lot of selfies and selfie videos.

What should I know?

You need to know that even if your child’s account is ‘private’ strangers are able to request to follow him or her.

You need to know that your child can search anything on Instagram, and even harmless searches can turn up some pretty tricky photos. Check out the examples below.

You need to know that often young users get crafty and clever with accounts. Often kids change names and create ‘dummy’ profiles like [bob]is.my.bff or I_love_big_feet or cool.kids.of.blakems or you get the idea. How will your child feel if he or she is not one of the bffs or cool kids or pretty girls or hot guys? How will you feel if you find out your child has created one of these exclusive accounts?

You need to know that if your child’s profile is public, anyone can comment on it–and you have no control over comment moderation. That means that if some crazy person writes something crazy on your kid’s photo, it’s stuck there until the kid deletes the photo. If your underage child reports another user for inappropriate content, then what?

You need to know that your child can monitor other users’ behavior. And if your child’s profile is public, other people can monitor his or her behavior. Again, with young users who are already vying for each other’s attention, this is something to think about. All you need is one kid to follow a suspect account or start interacting with said suspect account for others to soon follow suit.

You need to know that your child can add a photo map to his or her account. Honestly, maps or gps locators are never a good idea when it comes to social media, no matter who you are. Who really wants the world to know where he or she is 100% of the time?

How should I support my child if he/she is already using Instagram?

Monitor, monitor, monitor.

Talk, talk, talk.

Insist your child has a private profile.

Follow your child’s account and follow his or her friends’ accounts.

Follow your child’s friends’ parents’ accounts.

Approve your child’s followers.

Require all electronic devices to be ‘parked’ in a designated charging spot by a certain time each night.

Create a Family Media Agreement–decide upon some rules and regulations that best suit your child and your family and stick to them!

This is by no means an exhaustive list of how-to’s. It’s just the beginning. And it will hopefully open up a dialogue between you and your children about Instagram and other social media sharing platforms.

And rather than screaming NO WAY and slamming the door on your child’s request to use Instagram (or any platform that you are not comfortable permitting), consider giving your child an alternative.

Say, I’m not comfortable with you using Instagram right now because you’re ten years old and Instagram Terms of Service require you to be 13 in order to use it. They set those rules for a reason, and we will follow them. Instead why don’t you try:

doing a few reviews on KidzVuz?

updating your blog?

texting one of your aunts or uncles?

playing a little Animal Jam?

creating a video game?

making a movie on iMovie?

Facetiming a pal or your cousins?

doing some artwork on the iPad?

making something on Pixie?

creating a presentation on Power Point?